Dan's Comedy Page - Real Bumper Stickers

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Real Bumper Stickers
Seen Around The Country

Horn Broken. Watch for finger.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

All generalizations are false.

Learn from your parents' mistakes- use birth control.

Forget about World Peace... Visualize using your turn signal.

Aunt Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.

Change is inevitable, except for a vending machine.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons.

Rehab is for quitters.

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

Montana - At least our cows are sane !

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

I souport publik edekashun.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.