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CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 60 times and it still feels unwiped, so you put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
GASSY POOPIE: It's so noisy, everyone within carshot is giggling.
DRINKER POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN POOPIE: (Self-explanatory).
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie, but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS POOPIE: (The power dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.
LIQUID POOPIE: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
MEXICAN POOPIE: It smells so bad your nose burns.
UPPER-CLASS POOPIE: The kind of poopie that doesn't stink.
THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You're not even at the toilet because you're sure you're about to fart, but oops! ... a poopie.
THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.